Many people are afraid of marriage. It’s a lifelong commitment and it could lead to a lot of complications. It’s hard to enter a relationship and even harder to maintain it to the point where you want to settle down with a person. How do you keep your relationship alive? How do you fully accept someone for who they truly are? We all need a bit of a breather when it comes to the big “C” word: Commitment. When you do reach a point in your life where everyone else around you is getting married, you’re going to be feeling a bit lost. It’s no worries, we’ve all felt this way.
To help you with the difficult issue, we’ve featured some questions you might ask yourself before tying the knot. But before you
Here are some pieces of advice from people that have been married or that have been in a relationship for a long time.
You need to have a good platonic relationship as well as a romantic one.
Are you dating someone because you’re only physically/sexually attracted to them? If you met them and fell head over heels for them — it’s infatuation. It will last a few months, but you’ll need that mental attraction for it to last years down the road. It doesn’t work out if you only see them as a friend either. If you and your partner have been together for a few years and can have sex everyday/every few days AND talk for hours on end, then you have something special. There’s nothing more you need than someone who is both your lover and your best friend.
Learn to talk to each other about money and finances early and often.
It’s hard to talk about money. Bringing up the questions of “How much do you make?” and “How much should we save per month?” can lead to arguments. Getting these questions out of the way early will ensure that you will not have to worry about it later on. If one person spends all the money in the relationship and other person is the only one saving money, it won’t work out. One of the biggest causes of divorce is financial disagreements. Make your intentions clear and work things out so that both of you are happy financially.
Have lots of sex. It’s hard to be angry when you’re getting lots.
Sex is necessary in a relationship, as it separates a good friendship over a good relationship. Be sexually attracted and open to each other. Figure out what each others’ fantasies are and talk openly about it. If you’re too shy to open up to your partner — work on it. Sex will ease the tensions on a lot of things, and it will also bond you both on a much deeper level.
Spend time with each other but also spend time away from each other.
Too much of anything can be annoying. Make time for them as well as for yourself. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to dedicate all your time to them; make the effort to work on building yourself up as well as building your relationship. The goal of a good relationship is to have a balance between your own friends and your significant other. Once you’re married, you’re going to need your friends to be there for you (and not only when things are looking bad).
“If you have to choose between being right and being kind, choose being kind.”
Fights happen, we know. The point of fighting isn’t to figure out who is right and who is wrong. Fights are something you can overcome to make your relationship stronger, but it won’t work if both of you are stubborn. One person has to eventually agree to disagree. If both of you can understand the concept of getting over the anger with kindness, then you can lead the path the a great marriage.
Presents aren’t just for special occasions.
Haven’t your parents taught you about “sharing is caring”? Presents are always nice, especially ones that people don’t see coming. Give to your significant other what you would want to be given to you; it doesn’t have to be anything big. Bake them a few cupcakes next time you have your baking tray out or buy them a cute keychain if you see it’s something they would like. If you like receiving presents, then don’t forget to give them as well.
“If you are expected to be monogamous and have one person be all things sexually for you, then you have to be whores for each other. You have to be up for anything.”
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