Living With Strangers
College: Do you drink? Drugs? Party? A passive-aggressive tug-of-war in sleep schedules, dish duties, and hiding secret stashes of Pizza Pops and Nutella
Real World: Ok of all the creepy housemate options on Craigslist, you’re the least creepy so I guess I’ll sign the lease
College: Aren’t water, electricity, and Internet basic human needs?? It doesn’t count as crippling debt if it isn’t YEARS from now, right?
Real World: Payday essentially means pay-your-bills day.
College: The cheaper the better so I guess I’ll grab an Old E or a mickey of Sauza or 2 cans of Four Loko. It’s Wednesday night, WHICH OFFICIALLY MARKS THE WEEKEND!!
Real World: Time to unWINE-d. A glass of wine after work. And maybe a second. Or a third for when I watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta
College: Cafeteria buffets are so gross, I wish there was something else to eat… I guess I’m having Mr. Noodles for dinner
Real World: Why did I complain about endless food that was already prepared and paid for?? I didn’t even have to do dishes!!
College: College is a place of experimentation. Like how many days can I go without washing my hair before the grease is too unbearable and no amount of dry shampoo can fix it? Holy grail product: Beanies. Then throw on a pair of sweats or if I’m really not feeling it, I’ll keep my flannel PJ pants on
Real World: Waking up every morning at 6am to shower, put on a full face of makeup, throw on a freshly pressed pantsuit, and be on time for the train Monday to Friday
College: 12 page paper with footnotes and print sources due in 4 hours? Let me throw down 7 Red Bulls and I GOT THIS
Real World: If you talk to me before my morning coffee, I will find what you love and I will fucking kill it.
College: Oh shit I forgot to load my food card, can you spot me this Odwalla mango smoothie and I’ll get you back tomorrow?!
Real World: 2 fat cheques every other Friday?? Down
College: A ROUND OF SHOTS ON ME!!
Real World: There’s a Groupon for 2-for-1 massages, it’s on me.
College: Aw cute!! But if I have to take care of you guys, I’d better be getting paid
Real World: Oh my god all my friends are pro-creating. I’m at the age where it would make sense right…? Oh God no….
College: I’ll have oatmeal today instead of a breakfast burrito, that’s a good start right?
Real World: I’ll have a $20 gourmet kale Caesar salad please
Meeting People to Date
College: There’s flow and flannel in my Econ lecture, or maybe I should go for Herschel and Sperry’s who hangs at the quad everyday at 3:46…
Real World: If I don’t tell anyone I’m on lavalife, I’m not really on it
Are college students in a college bubble? Are they prepared for the Real World?
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