AMBW Alert: My Experience Dating An Asian Man

My Experience Dating An Asian Man

Dating can be tough enough without having to add in the stress of dating someone a different race than your own, so I thought I’d share my experience dating an Asian man. Let’s face it, we live in a multicultural society, so my dating an Asian shouldn’t have come as such a surprise for people. My experience dating an Asian man had a lot of ups and downs which I have decided to break up into categories of: The Good, The New, The Annoying, and The Revelation on my experience dating an Asian man.

My Experience Dating An Asian Man

The Good:

My experience dating an Asian man made me apart of this movement called AMBW
(asian men, black women) At the time I had no idea that this was a thing, let alone an entire social media movement. This guy and I worked extremely well together as a couple. We hardly ever fought, had a similar group of friends, loved going out together, and trusted each other completely. He never tried to tell me what I could or could not do (because let’s face it, that wouldn’t work out well for him) and I was never worried when he’d go out with the guys to a bar or club. For awhile there, our relationship was pretty close to paradise!

He was very supportive of my high strung nature when it came to work and school, and always helped motivate me at the gym or with day-to-day challenges. And whenever we came across negative reactions towards our relationship he was the first one to defend it to anyone that had an issue. We had the same taste in music which was surprising because I’ve got a wide range in musical taste. Don’t be surprised to find Disclosure, The XX, and Busta Rhymes all in one playlist on my iPod.

My Experience Dating An Asian Man

The New:

Being in an interracial relationship was like a learning experience because we got to try different parts of each others culture. He introduced me to an entire world I never knew existed, full of music, activities, and amazing food. I can’t lie, to this day I can be found at your local T&T supermarket grabbing food. I even got myself a pair of custom made chopsticks, which I have mastered. I hate to admit it but I’ve been known to watch a few Korean Drama’s here and there and have some K-Pop on my iPod…these influences were all from my experience dating an Asian man.

As for him, he had to get used to my ridiculously loud and blunt family, all of which were fascinated with our relationship. He became obsessed with dancehall and reggae music and now has a healthy appreciation for eating sugar cane. There was even some talk about attending
Caribana.

My Experience Dating An Asian Man

The Annoying:

The thing that drove us insane were the constant looks and questions we would get from people. Friends would ask why we were with each other, falling back on stereotypes to support their reservations. Some would say we were too different, that he must have been short, or that I must have a major attitude. These put a serious damper on my experience dating an Asian man. His family was not thrilled about our little AMBW affair either, and because of their misgivings, my parents weren’t their biggest fans. We both got pressured to break up with each other, it was a nightmare. He thought that my parents were being too judgmental and I thought that he wasn’t standing up for our relationship. This is where our communication began to fail and we just couldn’t see each others point of view.

My Experience Dating An Asian Man

The Revelation

Eventually the pressures became too much and we broke it off for the final time. So what did I learn from my experience dating an Asian man? At first I hate to admit it, but I told myself I’d never date someone outside of my race again. I thought it was too difficult and I didn’t want to put myself through that kind of emotional roller coaster again. However, I soon began to realize that you can’t close yourself off to possibility just because one thing hasn’t gone your way. Aside from the outside issues, he and I had a wonderful relationship that I will always appreciate.

Of course dating is difficult no matter the circumstance, it’s finding someone that’s willing that fight in the trenches with you that makes all the difference. The best way I know how to move forward is by learning from your past and moving forward from there.

That was my experience dating an Asian man, what are yours? Are you in an interracial relationship?

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4 COMMENTS

  1. Thanks for sharing. I have a similar experience to you. I am a 31 y/o Asian American man and engaged to a black woman. I amfirst generation. We have 1 son together. My father basically disowned me since he disapproves of my relationship with a black woman. So I sacrificed my relationship with my dad for my fiance. Im not letting him dictate who I am intimately involved with. Yes the interracial dynamics make these relationships that much harder but sometimes these things are worth fighting for. Cheers.

  2. I’m a black woman and I dated an Asian American man. The relationship was great but our strong personalities clashed. I didn’t know about AMBW until I found out it was an entire movement. I think it’s interesting that such a phenomenon exists. I’m not sure if I should scorn the movement or hop on the bandwagon. I’m interested in exploring another relationship with an Asian guy but, I’m afraid of developing a fetish like I’ve seen most women do in those communities. I’ve seen way more black women openly seek Asian men than I’ve seen Asian guys going for black women. Ladies, don’t get hooked on the fascination of skin color and become a man’s toy. Look for deeper connections that go beyond skin. đŸ™‚

  3. (Freshly) 22 y/o West African girl living in the UK for university. My bf is half Chinese and half British. I actually knew about the ambw movement years before he and I started dating and was furiously into Kdrama, mangas, anime’s and Asian (especially Korean) culture. Having said that, I don’t have an Asian fetish. I agree with everything the Author said, good, new and annoying. He’s more British than Asian so not much ‘new’ going on there but he’s learnt to love Jollof rice and fried plantain even more than me. He’s absolutely understanding, caring and we just sync.
    Annoying mostly comes from my family (parents). The West African culture around relationships is totally different to what he’s used to and I’m not the best teacher because it’s never been something I had to deal with, hence issues. I dated before, yes, they were all back home, understood the culture and it was hidden from our parents (I was a chiillldddd then). Other than that, all I get are “aww you guys are so cute together” from friends, stares from other girls (esp Asian and Black girls) and playful jabs here and there from my siblings (oh and the occasional cheap jokes from my parents).

  4. Such a well laid-out article. I also enjoyed reading the comments. It’s really motivating to see people sharing such personal experiences. Thanks in advance đŸ™‚

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