Sometimes I think being in a lot of relationships is seen as a bad thing. To be honest, there are both pros and cons to being in a lot of relationships. You definitely learn different things when you’ve been in a lot of relationships versus when you’ve only had one long term one. Which one is better? Well I can’t really speak for long term relationships but I can give some insight on things you learn from being in a lot of relationships.
Here are just a few things I’ve learned along the way:
1. Relationships aren’t for everyone
You figure out that some people just aren’t cut out for relationships. They get bored too easily, don’t care enough, or take advantage of them and don’t appreciate them for what they are. You get better at figuring out who is boyfriend material and who is a better friends with benefits.
2. Having similar morals helps avoid unnecessary fights/disagreements.
You learn to prioritize figuring out early on if your morals are aligned. You get better at understanding different perspectives but you also understand that some people just can’t be helped. They are stubborn and you just learn to avoid, avoid, avoid.
3. You know when a relationship isn’t going any further because you learn tell tale signs.
You are able to pick up on cues that he wants to break up with you and break it off before he does. You’re better at figuring out if the relationship is going to end up in marriage or not. He doesn’t introduce you to parents? Maybe he’s not ready. He doesn’t introduce you to friends? Red flag.
4. You figure out the qualities you’re actually looking for.
After going through a lot of relationships, you realize what qualities are actually important. Honesty, trust, respect, support, and forgiveness to name a few. You figure out the qualities you put most weight on and what makes or breaks your relationship. Are you okay with lazy? Are you okay with jealousy? You know which ones you can handle and which ones you can’t.
5. You know who your best friends/constants are.
They’re there before, during, and after every relationship. These are the friends you keep around. They pre-screen your crush, support your relationship, and help you get over your ex. They understand you and sometimes tell you things you don’t want to hear but they mean well.
6. You learn to see through all the bullshit.
He’s acting shady? He’s calling you less? He can’t respond to a text? Yea, call him out on that. You’ve been through a lot of relationships so you know what the first signs of cheating look like. You know how to differentiate between legitimate reasons and bullshit excuses. You can smell it from a mile away.
7. You realize things that you may be doing wrong.
Maybe you’ve gone out with a lot of assholes. Or maybe you’re actually the crazy one in the relationship. Either way, you start to see a pattern and you make it your sole purpose to figure out why your relationships fail.
8. You develop your definition of love over time.
When you’ve only dated one person, you think what you have is real. You believe that love is supposed to feel a certain way. Although what you experience may be love, it may also not be. Being in a lot of relationships helps you figure out the different forms of love and the difference between them.
9. You learn that sex isn’t always the answer/solution.
You learn that sex doesn’t solve problems. Often it only serves as a distraction for the real issues. You get better at talking out your problems instead of bottling it up. You get better at expressing your feelings and don’t solely rely on sex to ease the issue.
10. You’re better at juggling different relationships.
When you were younger, relationships with boyfriends always took over your relationships with friends. It was an exciting time to have a boyfriend and you wanted to spend every waking moment with him. Being in a lot of relationships has helped you realize that you shouldn’t brush off your friends just for a relationship that might not last.
11. You gain a lot of sweaters.
This is just a perk of being in a lot of relationships. Hoard ALL the sweaters.
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What have you learned from being in a lot of relationships?
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