You’re at that point in your life where you’re looking for a new partner. But it feels like you basically already know everyone out there. Or it’s hard for you to meet new people since you work/have class with the same group of people everyday. So you turn to your friends for advice and all they say is “you should go out more”, “hit up a club” or even “I know the perfect person to set you up with”. While all of these may work (in terms of you meeting new people), but they may not necessarily land you your next long term relationship or even partner at best. The most overlooked and quite probably best option is the group of people that you have “friend zoned”.
Sure, being friend zoned has its negative aspects and obviously nobody wants to be put in that position. But sometimes its for the best. Our fast paced society rife with online dating, speed dating, Tinder, Grindr and other various online and dating apps has caused us to quickly toss aside anyone that doesn’t interest us.
We pass on that dorky looking guy sitting in what may appear to be a chair constructed out of swords (Game of Thrones reference for anyone that didn’t catch on). Or we may be swiping left on Tindr because there were three guys in one photo and we couldn’t deduce who was hotter.
But when you finally meet that cute guy only to friend zone him because you’re not interested, or vice versa, then the story ends right?
Not so much.
Sometimes being friend zoned can be the best thing ever that could happen. Those one night stands or strangers that we date, sure we may date them for a couple of months or even a year or two if we’re lucky. But in the end, the relationships don’t last, they fizzle out, or we find something about the other person that we can’t stand. And the reason behind that?
Because we didn’t know them well enough.
When you friend zone someone – okay let’s just change it to befriending, because that’s exactly what happens – you decide that you want to keep them around. Clearly the people we can’t stand are the we don’t want to be around for long. Which is why we avoid them. We befriend people because we want to keep seeing them. Obviously there’s a trait in them that you like or click well with.
When you hook up with that guy from a mixer and decide to date each other for awhile, it’s purely physical. Sure his arms might be toned and strong, and his abs may be rock solid like a washboard, but does he really care about your feelings? Are you the first and last person he wakes up and goes to bed talking to? Does he worry about how you’ll feel if he has to cancel on a date? Sure he might the first couple of times, purely out of infatuation. But in the end, those feelings change and he won’t feel as obligated to care about you anymore.
On the other hand, your friends are there as a shoulder to cry on when something doesn’t work out. They’ll listen when your boyfriend has cheated on you for what seems to be the umpteenth time and all you can do is repeat over and over how much you hate him. Sure, they’ll tell you to break up with him and say things like “I told you this would happen again”, but they won’t get tired of saying it. They’ll keep repeating it as many times as it takes until you really listen to them. Why? Because they truly care about you.
Remember back in 3rd grade when some of the popular girls made fun of your Barbie lunch bag and made everyone to make fun of you too? And then your friends decided to protect you instead of leaving and joining those girls? Those are your true friends and they genuinely care about you. People who stick around even when situations may not be the best for them are the ones worthy of a second look from you.
Which is why you should date your best friend.
Boys if you’re reading this, the next time you’ve been friend zoned, don’t see it as a bad thing. Instead think of it like she likes you enough to keep you around, maybe for the future when she’s ready for a relationship with you. Girls, find your next relationship in your friend zone pool, those people care more about you than you know. And that’s how you deserve to be treated in a relationship.
[quote_center]Have you ever dated a best friend?[/quote_center]
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