Some days you feel a surge of pride knowing you, the girl who feels more like Cinderella before the fairy godmother, have somehow landed your very own Prince Charming. You feel a surge of giddiness at the thought that, hey, cliches really do come true and your personal Adonis picked you. Simply put, you can’t believe how lucky you got.
But then you have those other days. Days where you bite your nails in anxiety, because how exactly did you get so lucky? Days where you analyze how you look and what you wear and how you act, because how? What exactly does an attractive guy like him see in a girl like you?
Dating a guy more attractive than you is both a blessing and a curse.
You can’t help but notice the seductive glances being cast his way by other (sometimes more attractive) girls. You can’t help but wonder if he notices them. And you can’t help but let them get to you.
When you’re out with an attractive guy, people notice. You suddenly become more privy to constant scrutiny and criticism, because people just can’t seem to grasp exactly how you “reeled this guy in.” Your life becomes the movie-length story line of She’s Out of My League and your days become filled with self-doubt, jealousy, and fear.
Will he stay? Will he stray? You ask the questions over and over again, because what exactly makes you the special snowflake, the super bright star?
Needless to say not all women are insecure, but some women are. And maybe you’ve been in that position once or twice, or know someone who has.
And there’s nothing wrong with thinking these thoughts, there’s nothing wrong with being a little nervous, but don’t let them ruin your relationship – and most of all, don’t let his physical status define yours.
Scientifically, we’re more comfortable with less-attractive men.
Studies have indicated most women prefer to date men less attractive than them. This mentality lies in the fear that more attractive men are more likely to stray. Similarly, dating a less attractive guy ensures that you may be the “best” he’s ever had, and he’ll put more effort into making the relationship work.
With a guy less-attractive than you, you hope to eliminate the fear that he’ll get bored or will want to “upgrade.” It’s just easier, less concern, less fear. But that doesn’t mean it’s always better.
And it definitely doesn’t mean you need to steer clear of the Adonises in the world.
Don’t let it get to you.
It’s easier said than done, but it’s a necessary step to deal with the situation. While other people may judge and wonder, you need to remember a relationship between you and your boyfriend is between you and your boyfriend – that means two people, and no one else and no one else’s opinions.
You can’t let the fear or the insecurities grip you. This will only lead to bigger problems in the relationship. If you’re jealous, don’t get possessive. If you’re full of self-doubt, don’t start hating on yourself. If you’re getting mad, don’t start planting giant kisses on your boyfriend to mark your territory.
Just enjoy your relationship: the dates, the talks, the laughs, the hugs, whatever, wherever.
Healthy relationships are founded in trust: so, trust him.
While you may not necessarily be appreciative of the female population out there eyeing your boyfriend up and down, don’t look at them as competition. Consider it a compliment.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you don’t need to be titled the hottest woman in the world to possess it. Your boyfriend loves something in you other girls didn’t offer him. Jealousy and fear shouldn’t even be a prominent component in your relationship. You should feel reassurance that your more-attractive-than-you boyfriend picked you out of any girl he could have picked.
And I think that says enough.
How do you feel about dating someone better looking than you? How do you deal with it?
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