Rejecting someone is hard, especially if you’re someone who runs away at any sign of conflict like I do. But sometimes it’s necessary. You can’t please everyone, and you certainly shouldn’t be expected to accept a date invitation from every single person who comes your way. So why do so many people find themselves going out with someone they know they aren’t compatible with?
1. Because They Don’t Want to Upset the Other Person
Facing rejection can be even harder than dishing it out, but unless your hopeful suitor still lives with his or her parents, you should expect the other person to be emotionally mature enough to accept that you have no obligation to accept their offer. Yeah, you’re probably going to hurt their feelings, at least for a short while – there’s no way around it. But as the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Someone else is bound to catch their eye sooner or later. Besides, he or she’ll probably be even more upset if they find out that you’re not interested after you’ve already been on four or five dates. If you’re seriously worried about the other person having an extreme or dangerous reaction to your decline, make sure you have friends around you to help remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.
2. Because They Like The Attention
No judgment! Everyone likes being told that they’re beautiful…even if it’s coming from someone they find completely and utterly unappealing. But if one person thinks you’re awesome, chances are that a lot more people feel that way too. Friends, family members, random people on the street – even though they may not say it to your face, they all think you’re pretty great. And you should think you’re great too! If you take some time to remind yourself of this fact every once in a while, you probably won’t feel as much pressure to accept a date from that slightly creepy guy standing in the corner of the bar, or even a guy friend who you just can’t see yourself being with. (No matter how much you try)
3. Because They Don’t Want to Be Alone
This one is particularly hard to avoid, especially if you haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. A million questions run through your head – What if this is my last chance? Is wanting someone to spend time with really so bad? And no, it’s not – as humans, one of our most natural, basic instincts is to communicate and be around others. And alone time, while extremely underrated, can also become a little dull after a certain period of time. But give it time – no, that random guy you asked you out in the park is not your last chance at love. Is spending time with someone you don’t like really a better option than being with your friends, being with your family members, or being with yourself?
And if you need even more convincing, just remind yourself that accepting a date from a guy or girl you don’t like doesn’t do anybody any favours. Think about it this way – would you dedicate your time and effort (and force another person to dedicate their time and effort as well) to work on a project or task that you 100% know you’re just going to end up discarding or stopping midway? As weird as it sounds, a relationship really is a sort of project, and it’s a project that deserves to be given your complete and genuine attention. Don’t try to force it with someone you just aren’t interested in, and don’t be afraid to reject someone.
Have you ever had to turn someone down?
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