We all want to and need to be loved. We all wonder when we will find “the one”. For those unlucky in the love department, here are some tips to get you started on how to find love.
1. Do the opposite of what you’ve been doing.
a. If you’ve been dating lots of people, jumping from one relationship to another, and not having any luck, stop. This may seem counterintuitive but maybe you need to take a break from the dating scene. Stop chasing people and maybe you’ll give the right person the chance to catch up to you.
b. If you’ve been staying in and moping about why you can’t find love, go out! How can you find someone or even give someone the chance to find you when you’re just chilling in your bed eating macarons and watching Netflix?
2. Try new things.
People tend to have a tendency to fall into routines. It’s nice to have things that are constant in your life because you feel safe but maybe you need to step out of your comfort zone. Join a team, find a new hobby, explore the city, anything that puts you in contact with new and exciting people.
3. Look within.
Maybe the problem isn’t other people but it’s you. This may be hard to hear but it’s the truth. Really take some time to self reflect and seriously consider if you are a person that someone would want to love. Are you selfish, controlling, and jealous? Don’t say “no” right away, think about it, really.
4. Maybe it is the other person.
Okay, let’s face it. Sometimes it is the other person. If you’ve looked within and decide you’re a great catch and you still haven’t found love then you probably are looking in the wrong places. Stop frequenting bars (I’m looking at you 30 year olds), and other places with poor lighting, loud music, and alcoholic which lead to bad decisions.
Unplug from your phone when you’re out and about. You’re probably thinking “uh, girl be cray” but really, give it a try. So many times I’ve seen people miss a look from someone because their nose was pressed up against their iPhone. When you disconnect, you start to notice that your barista may spend a little more time crafting your latte to make sure it’s extra special or the cute guy smiling at you from across the bus. Be aware of your surroundings, not just for safety purposes but for prospective choices 😉
6. Open yourself up to love.
You may think you are open to the idea of love because it’s what you’ve been searching for but maybe you haven’t found what you’ve been searching for because you really don’t open yourself up to it. Relationships aren’t 50/50, they are 100/100. You give 100% of who you are, let them in, be vulnerable and willing to give someone the ability to break you into a million pieces but trust them not to.
7. Love as often and as selflessly as possible.
Too often we think that love needs to be reciprocated. It doesn’t have to be. Unrequited love may not be ideal but it is love nonetheless. Do not be afraid to love someone that doesn’t love you back. One day you will find someone that will love you like you love them. In the mean time, practice how to love.
What tips would you give to those searching for love?
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