Friends With Benefits Or Something More? How To Tell Where You Stand With Your Boy Toy

friends with benefits or something more
Are you friends with benefits or something more? We’ve all been there: You meet someone where the chemistry is so strong that you inevitably fall into the tangled web of being friends with benefits. Here’s where it gets complicated, how can you tell if you’re just friends with benefits or something more? You may die before actually admitting it, but you’ve fallen for your once in awhile fling. We’re here to help you recognize the signs of being friends with benefits or something more.

friends with benefits or something more

We’re pretty sure Samantha from Sex and The City got it right when she said: “You’re going to take the only person in your life that’s there purely for sex, no strings attached, and turn him into a human being? Why?” Here’s why:

You’re always waiting for his call

You know you’ve got it bad when you’re sitting around just waiting for him to call. You check your phone a billion times just to see if he’s thinking about you, because let’s be honest here, you’re thinking about him. And when you put on a movie or read a good book to distract yourself from the overwhelming presence that your cell phone has become, you start to image him in the role of the hero or love interest. After just an hour of this torment you get pissed and wonder: “How dare he have a life that doesn’t include me!”

friends with benefits or something more

All you want is to cuddle

Instead of having a late night booty call followed by the embarrassing walk of shame, all you want is to stay at his place and snuggle for a bit. You may not even want to hook up but just head over to his place to talk all night long. You’re beginning to find a fascination with the dimple in his cheek or how the sunlight catches his beautiful blue eyes. Suddenly all you want is to be his universe and you begin to question, are you friends with benefits or something more?

You’ve got a case of the green-eyed monster

We hate to break it to you, but you’re jealous when you can’t stand any of his other female friends or get nervous every time he’s on his phone. If you’ve become that woman who casually stalks his best friend “Amy” on Facebook or follows him around with your eyes when you go to the bar you’ve officially caught feelings for homeboy. You want to be the only lady of his life and you want him to admit that to all his friends, especially “Amy”. And when other women ask who you are, wondering if you guys are friends with benefits or something more, all you want is for him to say “more”.

friends with benefits or something more

You’re with other people but all you think of is him

If you’re out on a date with another guy and texting your boy toy about how bad it is it’s because you secretly wish you were out on a date with him instead. You want him to know that you’re on a date because you’re a hot commodity and other men are noticing, but at the same time you want to make it clear that it’s not going well, giving him the opportunity to know he’s got a shot. If you’re out with friends and you spend the whole night texting him about your day or funny things that make you think of him it’s because he’s the number one priority in your mind.

You say the phrase “If you were my boyfriend…”

This is the breaking point in discovering if you’re friends with benefits or something more. You guys talk a lot about your past, for example: past relationships, friends, family, or long term goals. You feel the most at ease when you’re together while you’re joking around or making fun of each other. Here’s when you know you’ve fallen for him, when you talk about what your relationship could be like in the future. If you say that you’d love to: “Go on a trip together…if you were my boyfriend” or that your parents ask about him but you reassure them saying that “If he were my boyfriend I’d tell you”. It’s these subtle hints that you need to recognize as longing.

friends with benefits or something more

It seems that just hooking up is not enough for you anymore, you’ve begun to develop some real feelings for this guy, and if you’ve recognized any of these signs in yourself, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Are you in a friends with benefits relationship? Or do you want something more?

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