A Guide to Making Mommy Friends

Mommy Friends
Having a baby catapults you into a world filled with challenges and joys unknown to your pre-baby life. How is one to navigate this brave new world? Critically important to your post-natal mental health is finding local mommy friends to commiserate and celebrate with. Moms who are more interested in getting a coffee than in debating the validity of the “Cry It Out Method.” You know, actual friends.

You need a wolf-pack.

Your wolf-pack will be instrumental to your happiness as a new mom, and to form your wolf-pack you’ll need to be strategic. You can’t just wander into, say, a bowling alley on a Tuesday morning and hope to find viable mommy friends. Be smart, ladies. Like babies to a rattle, moms flock to predictable hot spots, and that’s where you need to be. Let me throw out a short list:

  • The park
  • Farms (Nothing brings you closer to barnyard life than a new baby)
  • Kindermusik
  • Prenatal Yoga Class (if you’re trying to get a jump start on your wolf-pack)
  • Library story hour
  • Starbucks
  • Know this list. Live this list. Breathe this list.Mommy Friends

    Gear up.

    Basically, you need to position yourself at child-friendly places and make sure that you have a look that says, “I know I haven’t showered in a few days, but I think you can tell from my shoes and ponytail that I used to be cool.” You’re going for the “approach-ably hot, albeit worn-out” look. I find that the GAP Fit line of clothes works best for this (well, obviously Lululemon works BEST for this, but that’s a pricey way to look casually fit). You can botch your look pretty easily; I myself sometimes take it a little too far, wearing track pants from high school that are lightly coated in baby vomit. This isn’t really the way you want to play it. You’re trying to look relaxed, not dirty. With some trial and error you can get the look down.

    Get your weapons and station yourself.

    After you master your look, grab your baby and head out. You’ll want to try to position your stroller so that your baby is facing the heaviest flow of traffic at whatever establishment you’ve chosen as your field of play. So, if you’re in a coffee shop, face your stroller toward the door. This allows your baby to do the heavy lifting. Other moms will stop to talk to your baby, not to you. Your baby is your wingman, and while he or she is busy cooing at strangers/potential mommy friends, you should pretend to be checking your phone but actually looking for desirable moms out of the corner of your eye. When you see a mother of interest, play it cool for 10 seconds before reaching into the bottom of your stroller for a Whole Foods reusable bag. I don’t care if you shop at Whole Foods, this is just a prop to say “I respect quality and only like to use the best ingredients for my family!” If you’ve never been to Whole Foods, no worries, you can score a reusable bag if you wait in the parking lot for long enough. Bags from farming co-ops will also work. Trust me.

    Once you see a fellow mom glance at you, your baby, and your reusable bag, casually rummage through your diaper bag as if you’re trying to find something. Then glance quickly up at your target and say, “I’m always losing something in here! How do you like your diaper bag?” You’ve now opened up a line of conversation that is like catnip to a new mom. It’s up to you to take it from there. Be charming.

    Mommy Friends
    This is what can be culled from some effective mom-scouting.

    So throw on your sweats and head out into the field with confidence, ladies. Your wolf-packs are waiting.

Article in partnership with:
A Mothership Down

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  1. Love this post! I’ve recently considered making a t-shirt that says something like “Yes, I need new mom friends but only if you are a Liger Mom!” Perhaps I should get a Gap Fit shirt and just write it on in that in marker… that would go along with your “casually fit” motif and maybe even make me look “crafty” at the same time!


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