We constantly fill our brains with these endless sayings of “be yourself,” “dress to impress,” “wait three dates before sleeping with him,” and “wait three days before you call.”
Women alike wonder if they’re going about this dating thing the wrong way. Is this message sexy or corny? Is this message too long or too short? There is just simply no sure for women who wait by the phone wondering if they’re being too pushy in their text messages, not pushy enough, or if they sound like a complete idiot.
But the only idiotic thing going on is that we as women (and even men) seem to have created these unspoken rules and codes of conduct when it comes to dating each other.
As women we’re taught to play hard to get, but not to be too cold. We’re advised to be honest, but not share everything at once. We’re tasked with trying to be cute, but then are told not to always cake the make up on.
When is this madness going to end?
The only piece of dating advice you will ever need – and is guaranteed to work – is this:
Stop listening to all that advice
Throw away all those copies of those relationship magazines, stop filling out those “Does Your Crush Like You?” quizzes, and stop thinking life will turn out to be like Friends With Benefits or some other cliched rom-com type-esque movie with John Cusack standing outside your window with a boombox.
You’re dating a bad boy/player/certified asshole/whatever else is not a Prince Charming? It’s OK, if you just stay with him and let him realize what he could be losing he’ll commit.
If he can’t look you in the eye and blushes he likes you right? Of course he does, let’s just ignore he may just be a shy person in general when it comes to girls (or people or anything that lives and breathes and moves).
Want him to fall madly in love with you running in with a glass slipper or True Love’s Kiss? Well just be yourself – and if all else fails try to compromise and watch his favourite sport show – but of course be yourself.
See, yes, the last statement has some merit, but the truth of the matter is this advice isn’t foolproof.
And it’s because we as women have to realize every guy is different, with a different personality and different interests. Not every “certified technique” will work on him simply because relationships are not a game of rules and theory and strategy.
Relationships and dating are about getting to know each other.
He needs to get to know you. Not the girl you’ve formulated based on the “proper behaviour” on a first date, or the one who has decided it’s best to play hot and cold.
If he’s really worth the effort – well he better like you, because that’s what he’s getting 24/7.
So throw out those magazines.
Stop trying to decipher if he likes you or not based on “check to see if you have more A, B, or C answers.” And just go with your gut.
Do what feels right, not what some anonymous Ask Anne tells you.
What’s the dumbest dating advice you’ve ever heard?
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