If you’re single you’ve heard it before: Do you have a boyfriend yet? Are you dating? Do you want me to set you up with my boyfriend’s friend who is just as cute and really sweet and nice and works in finance? And as a single girl, your reply is: no, no, and no, thank you.
While being single is the perfect opportunity for a girl to put herself out there and meet, possibly, the man of her dreams, it’s not necessarily a specific criteria when living in singledom. Frankly, some girls might enjoy the break from kissing one-too-many frogs.
But for some reason, it still happens.
Whether at family dinners or just a casual girls’ night out, single people are suddenly having options and questions thrust at them.
We all have single friends and we all have friends in relationships, but please, friends in relationships, stop trying to set up your single friends on dates.
They don’t want your help.
If your single friends asks for your help in blatant words like, “Oh do you think your boyfriend has any cute friends?” or “Do you think you could set me up with so-and-so?” or “Do you know anyone who you think I would like?” then go in for the kill. But if she doesn’t give you the green flag, don’t suddenly toss in your suggestion.
Blind dates like that can just end up really awkward for all parties involved. Plus, girls have different taste, so don’t go assuming your taste will be your friend’s catch-of-the-day as well.
Being single and miserably single are two different things.
We’ve all had – or at least witnessed – a bad break up. These usually involve self-pitying moments of crying, heartbreak, emotional eating, rom-com binge watching, and wondering when the next cute guy will appear in your life. It’s a miserable place to be, but as a reminder, not all single people are wallowing in that dark abyss.
Being single and miserably-single are two different things. Most single-people can attest to enjoying the freedom and fun that comes along with their non-relationship status. They aren’t moping around because they’re surrounded by lovey-dovey couples. They’re perfectly fine being single, with no need to add a date into their schedule for personal satisfaction.
Just because their friends are dating, doesn’t mean they have to.
We all know how fun relationships can be, but just because you’re in one, doesn’t mean your single friend has to be in one for her to have fun with you. They get that you want them to be as happy as you’re happy with your boyfriend, but they can be just as happy on their own. While double-dates sounds like a cute idea, sometimes your single friends really don’t mind third-wheeling (and for the days they don’t want to, rejecting your invitation does not mean they’re angry).
Single friends can be friends with people in relationships and not feel disheartened by it.
No, it doesn’t mean they’re forever alone.
Being alone isn’t defined by the lack of a relationship. Being alone means having absolutely no one. And single people definitely don’t have absolutely no one.
In most cases, your single friends are probably never alone thanks to their social lives and different circle of friends. They have their close friends, their family, their co-workers, those people know they know because of people they know. They go out when they want, with who they want, on their Friday nights.
Don’t be surprised if your single friends says she’s too busy this weekend to squeeze in a date. She may already have plans.
So the next time you decide you want to help your friend out in her dating life, just take a step back and leave her be. If she doesn’t want to date, she will in her own time. And if she does, you’ll definitely know – friends share everything, of course.
How have you dealt with your friends setting you up?
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