Sex After Kids: 8 Ways to Rekindle Your Romance

How to put the spark back into your love life, when all you can think about is how much you want to nap.


Having kids is a huge, life-changing decision. Instead of just you and your partner, you now have a new tiny human to take care of! This is exhausting, and you certainly aren’t focused on your appearance anymore, let alone your basic needs!  You and your partner might both be working jobs as well, or one of you is in the office all day while the other is home with the baby.

“There is just no room left in your swelling heart for romance… “

At the end of a long hard day,  you are both ready to watch TV and fall asleep on the couch.   Your emotions are running high because, well, the two of you just made a human. You’re proud of each other for all the hard work you’ve been doing, filled with overwhelming love for your new-born, and quite frankly, there is just no room left in your swelling heart for romance! Step back, remember how freakin’ adorable your offspring is, and realize that this is completely normal!  You should feel intensely proud of you and your partner for participating in the miracle of life, and to reward yourself, just read our top 8 tips to rekindle your romance after the birth of your child. (The reward isn’t in the reading, it’s in the doing).


8 Tips to Rekindle Your Romance

1) The first step is to accept that you are going to be really busy for a really long time.  You most likely won’t be sleeping in until noon, taking a couples road trip together, or even enjoying a quiet meal together for quite some time.  Especially if this isn’t your first child.  By accepting this, you will be able to appreciate the rare quiet moments at home (even if they occur at 6:00am or midnight- take what you can get).  You will be surprised how great it can feel to have a spare quiet moment brushing your teeth together.

2) Set a date night and stick to itHave a babysitter well in advance, and potentially even a back up babysitter, just in case! You don’t want anything to go wrong on your date night.  Try to do this at least bi-weekly.  Weekly would be ideal, but that is pretty difficult with new children!

3) Try something new.  This could be sexual or completely non-sexual.  Visit a new town! Go skiing, or rock climbing, or visit a theme park! Of course

4) Of course, it could always be sexual as well.  Try some new toys, new positions, or new locations!

5) Take a class together.  Learn Italian, or take cooking lessons, or discover your passion for photography!

6) If you can’t spare the extra money right now, make the most of your time at home.  Take a nap together while the baby naps.  You can be physically close and cuddle, which will increase your serotonin levels.  Then later in the day, when you get a little extra alone time, your romantic feelings will be high.

7) Act like you just started dating again and use subtle physical contact.  You know, the kind of touching that you would do under the table so that your parents don’t realize what you’re doing.  The kind of brush across your lower back that gives you butterflies.  Hold hands while you walk through the mall.

8) Always remember to ask questions about your partners day.  Even if you had the worst day ever, and all you want to do is bitch about your own day, take time to appreciate your partners day.

So tell us:

What do you do to keep the spark alive in your marriage?

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