Boyfriends. Most of us have had at least one before in our lives. If not, then hopefully this will deter you from getting one, because the better choice is a dog… or multiple dogs. With boyfriends and dogs, there come liabilities and responsibilities, but the benefits of a dog completely outweigh the burdens of a boyfriend. Here’s why:
Easy to Please
Boyfriends can be very needy. They need to be fed… but it’s not that simple. They have to be fed with very specific things. Whether it be Thai chicken wings, pizza, or always marinated in their favourite dressing, they demand specific things. Another case may be that they want to take over the TV and watch something important while totally disregarding you currently using it. It’s like, “hey, move the eff out or go home if you’re going to be needy and picky“. Dogs on the other hand appreciate everything you do. Even you being present, they wag their tails unconditionally. They will eat 90% of what you feed them, praise you for giving them a treat, and won’t bother you if you’re enjoying your ‘me’ time. They just sit there and spend time with you.
Everyone Will Like Your Couple Photos
Haven’t you ever wished for cute silhouette kissing photos against the sunset of the beach, or those cliche Tumblr and Instagram photos of holding hands with your boyfriend? But unfortunately, if you post it up on social media, it’s only going to get 30% of the likes you’d get with your dog. Everyone loves dogs. Boyfriends, I don’t know. Maybe your boyfriend is anti social, no one knows him, or is just not up to par in visual standards. With a dog, the picture is always cute. Everyone will always say “AW THIS PHOTO IS SO CUTE“. Why? Because it’s a fluff monster that’s beyond adorable. Why do you think people watch cute dog videos all day?
We’re humans. We all have standards for our partners. Boyfriends, well, they can have even higher expectations than girls. The moment you gain 5lbs, they will point it out and make you fix it. Most men these days love what they see in magazines. Tall, lean, curvy but slim figures with $500 worth of hair and make up on. They always want that, and always will. Even though they say you’re pretty without make up while looking like a dirtbag at home, they really don’t mean it. They want to you dress up and cake up when going out with them. They need to get dabs for scoring a ‘hot chick’. As for dogs, they don’t care. They just care for your personality 200%. They love you for who you are. If you gain weight or lose weight, they’re okay with it. They won’t criticize you for not having your lashes on or looking lower than societal standards. Did I mention you can also dress them up however you want?
Won’t Cheat On You
I think we can all preach this. Relationships come together and fall apart easily. Boyfriends will always be temped by other women. Women can be evil and crazy. They can leave you for another woman, or won’t even leave you at all and do despicable things behind your back. It happens pretty frequently. It’s like they have a short attention span and can’t keep their dick in their pants until they see their one woman. For dogs, they will always be by your side. Even if you die, they will stay and pray at your grave. People would have to pull your dog away for them to leave. Your dog will also not leave you for someone else. As long as your dog knows where their home is, they will always come back.
Doesn’t Drain Your Bank Dry
Think about all the things you’ve ever had to pay for with your boyfriend. Gas, food, dates, presents, and rent for when his ass is freeloading off you. It’s like you’re his bank and the little things he does makes up for all that hard labour you put in to finance his ass. I mean- a meal is like $60 for two on average, gas is ridiculous, and he doesn’t even act like a good roommate when he freeloads. Obviously, dogs require you to pay bills for the food, toys, and medical bills too. However, they don’t expect luxury level things. Second grade toys will make them ecstatic as long as they’re safe. As for food, no need to go out to fancy restaurants on dates. A walk and some Kibbles will be good enough. So instead of paying $30 for a meal at a regular family restaurant for a boyfriend, that $30 can buy a month or half a month of food for your dog. BE POOR NO MORE.
No Awkward Cuddling Positions
Most couples like to cuddle. Just laying in bed, or the sofa, and be warmed by the other person’s body and scent. Now, when he wants to put his arm under your head, it’s no longer comfortable. I’m talking neck pains. Also, it’s not even soft like a pillow. I’d give up cuddling if it meant I didn’t have to rest my head on an over elevated rock. Boyfriends also enjoy to move around and sweat buckets when sleeping. Waking up to a sweaty, wet cheek is not pleasant. Also, let’s not forget about the drooling, yuck. Now why are dogs better than boyfriends in this aspect? Well, for one, dogs are soft and fluffy. It’s better than a pillow, it’s like sleeping on feathers or a teddy bear. Also, they’re always the perfect size to cuddle and won’t make a fuss about how you cuddle with them. They just lay there and wait for your embrace. As for the heat, oh, they’ve got it!
Have you come to the dog- side?
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