So you’ve been with your significant other for a long time and the question of whether it’s time to move in together has come up. You’ve reached a point in your relationship where you think ready to take a step forward. But, before you take such a huge step, consider the following questions. If you’re confident in your responses, then go ahead and take the plunge. If you’re hesitant or unsure of how your partner would respond, then you should talk these concerns over with them before you make a decision.
Have you passed the honeymoon phase?
Once you’re out of the honeymoon phase your real relationship starts. This is when when you no longer try to conceal your imperfections and you know your SO inside and out. If the flame is still alive and you have committed to each other, flaws and all, then you are ready for the next step.
Have you defined your relationship?
This is key. As soon as there is a disconnect between what you and your partner believe your relationship status is, there will be trouble. Obviously if you’re considering moving in with someone else, someone you love, it’s important that you are in a serious relationship. You should both be on the same page with where you stand and how committed you are to each other.
Have you travelled together and actually had a good time?
Tensions can run high when you’re in a foreign country, especially when it comes to figuring out directions, language or even making flights on time. There is also the task of planning and budgeting a trip, which involves compromise and conversation. If you have been on vacation with your BF and enjoyed yourselves it’s a good indication that you’re up for trying something new together.
Are you really comfortable around each other?
Has your SO seen you burp, fart, or without makeup? You should be comfortable showing all sides of you and happy and accepting of all sides of them. Once you move in together, there will be significantly less privacy and all will be revealed.
Have you had a major fight and found a resolution?
And by major fight, we mean huge blow out. This is the kind of disagreement that involved a screaming match, even hurled objects, and probably ended in tears. You both said some harsh things, but in the end you and your beau were able to talk it out and reconcile.
Do you really listen to each other?
This is critical when it comes to compromise. If you’ve discussed moving in together, the question of where you are going to live has probably come up. Will he move into your place? You into his? Or will you both find a new place together? Recognize his opinions and concerns.
Do you know each other’s family and friends?
It’s a good idea to get input from the people who know and love you the most when making a big decision. If your SO has met and knows your family and friends, that’s good. If they get along with them well, that’s the seal of approval.
Do you spend a lot of time together?
If you’re spending four or five nights a week sleeping over, you’re headed in the right direction. The difference when you move in together is that instead of claiming one drawer in the dresser or a spot for your toothbrush in the bathroom, you will be sharing all of your space.
Can you support yourself?
If saving money is only reason you’re considering moving in with your partner, we suggest getting a roommate. Splitting the bills with your SO may be a convenient idea, but it will put a strain on your relationship. The other issue with this is that if things don’t end up working out, you will be on your own again, either forced to move out on your own or take over your partner’s half of the rent.
So, is it time to move in together?
If you’re certain about your reasons to move in together and both excited to make this commitment, then start planning. It might be a good idea to have a trial run before anybody puts their place on the market just to see how things work. One month is probably long enough to tell how moving in together permanently will pan out. If you feel there is tension or repetitive issues that arise, always talk it out. Find middle ground and try again. Best of luck if you dive in and take the plunge!
Do you agree with these things to consider when deciding to move in together?
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