Online dating used to only be for squares and Mormons but because of 21st century hook-up culture, Tinder is on fire. It fuels one of people’s favourite past times: snap-judging and then rejecting individuals solely based on their looks. It sounds insanely superficial when I write it like this but it’s a real thing.
Sounds simple enough. Upload a couple pics of yourself and create a personal synopsis in 500 characters of less. But there are unsaid rules to this online mating-season chaos…
- Your picture is your car or maybe one you found on Google and you’re not even in the picture. Next.
- Posing like a 90’s boy band member next to a nice car which probably (most likely) isn’t even yours
- You took a mirror selfie. With your iPad.
- You took a sweaty post-workout pic flexing so hard you look constipated.
- It’s just a picture of your abs without your face being in it. Your bio is telling me you want me to wash my clothes on your lower abdominal cavity? Are you seriously trying to chat me up with sexism you chauvinist? It might’ve worked in the 18th century if I was washing my bonnet in the creek but not now. Or ever.
- Not a single picture is of just you. No girl is going to BBC Sherlock logically deduce which guy is you in a huge group photo or even worse – a frat party pic.
- Your bio is a cliché frat-boy movie quote. Like how original is “I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” Try again.
- “Just here to smash, no fatties”
- You have an obnoxiously douchey picture of smoke billowing in front of your face. You’re artsy? You utilize recreational drugs? Is your face best viewed through an actual filter??
- Your pic is James Franco or Francisco Lachowski. Have you seen Catfish on Netflix?
- Your bio is riddled with punctuation/grammar errors or LoOkS LiKe THiS
Have you seen examples of these Tinder fouls? What exactly are these guys thinking?
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