It’s officially Ugg season and if you’re the basic bitch that we think you are, then you’re probably already ahead of the game and have already busted out your favorite pair. But the type of Uggs that you wear completely determines what kind of basic bitch that you are. Let’s see if you fall under these descriptions:
You’re as basic as basic can be. You clearly either:
A) have no sense of style and just follow the masses, or
B) you like to play it safe so that your Uggs will match every outfit that you put together
Regardless of the situation, you’re just a straight up lemming that does as others do. So think for yourself and at least get a different color than the basic black/grey/tan/brown ones that everyone gravitates towards.
If the classic Uggs are too boring for you, then you probably forayed into the land of sequined Uggs. Those horrible glitter/disco ball looking boots are like secret paparazzi photogs that snatch away a bit of someone’s soul everytime they’re flashed by your stride.
Like come on, only children wear shoes that light up, so why are you wearing those horrid looking boots. You’re clearly old enough to afford them, so get a grip on your fashion sense and invest in something different. If you’re looking to make a statement, forgo the glitter elephant shoes and opt for sparkly Louboutins instead.
The other pair of Uggs that are just as girly as the sequined ones, but instead of showing that you’re a glitter diva, you appear to be more of a sad little valley girl. As if we didn’t know that you were sweet, you had to go and get boots with ribbons and bows all over them for us to realize.
You know those cute little ones that end at about your ankles? Yeah, we get that you’re not using them for warmth, but just as a statement fact that you want to wear Uggs because they’re cute. And you’re only buying shorter ones because you know that everyone else already has the regular length ones. You’ve basically already admitted to yourself that you’re following the crowd, but your inherent sense to stick out forces you to get a slightly different style.
You really don’t care about being cold in the winter as long as you look “stylish” to all those other basic bitches out there.
Okay, so you’ve comprehended the concept that Uggs are meant to keep your feet warm in the winter, hence the height. BUT! You’ve failed to realize that suede anything in the winter soaks up water faster than a thirsty girl.
Obviously you’re wearing tall boots to avoid getting your pants and socks wet, right? Wrong. You’ve neglected to acknowledge the fact that Uggs are to shield you from the cold, not the wet. You might as well just get another basic bitch staple, Hunters, if that’s your goal.
But for now, we too are waiting for the ultimate partnership: a pair of Hunter rain boots that are shearling lined with Ugg goodness. Can someone please make our dream come true?
What kind of Uggs do you wear?
Republished by Blog Post Promoter