When You Know Your Relationship is “Married Couple” Status

Ever been told that you and your significant other are already like a married couple even though you’ve been together for only a few years? Yah, your friends are probably disgusted and secretly jealous of your relationship. This is the stage where you two can be adorably sweet to one another but enemies the next second. Here are ways to tell if your relationship has come to “old married couple” status.

1. You fight over the dumbest things

fight, married couple

You’ve been together for so long that you’ve already fought about all the big relationship things. Now your quarrels revolve around how annoying his fork sounds when he picks at his mashed potatoes. Yes, it’s sad. ‘Babe, why didn’t you give me a bite of your burger?”

2. You button up each other’s jackets

Married Couple

Sickening, but I can’t help but think “awwwww” in my head when I see this. It’s not that you don’t have hands to button up your own coat, it’s that you’re concerned about your partner getting a cold.

3. You no longer need to get “pretty”

Married Couple

Date coming up? Whatever, you’re just heading to a pizza joint around the corner. There’s no need to put on makeup or wash your hair. The new dress is for next week’s birthday bash and eye shadow is reserved for the special people. The two of you are so comfortable that being au naturel is the way to go, it’s actually weird if one of you dresses up.

4. You reject plans to watch Netflix

Married Couple

What happened on the last episode of American Horror Story? Forget heading out to the bar with your friends, it’s time for you and him to cuddle up and watch the newest episode in silence. No disruptions allowed.

5. You pick up their toilet paper

Married Couple

How about a tub of ice cream? Call your bae up and ask them to also pick up a pack of gum while they’re at Walmart. Your errands are their errands. And yes, you also now their schedule and routines by now so you pick up things in advance as well. Oh what a thing love is.

6. You love going to Ikea together

Married Couple

There’s nothing more sexy than colour coordinating your imaginary chairs to your imaginary dining table to your imaginary walls right? It sends a thrill through your bones when you’re at Ikea in the kitchen section with your significant other. The future needs a lot of planning ahead people!

7. You don’t know what comfort barriers are anymore

Married Couple

Farting? Belching? Scratching one’s bum or crotch? None of them are off limits when you’re married couple status because love grows exponentially with the amount of gross things you do in front of your partner. Ok, sharting might be pushing it a little but you’re not embarrassed to share the time it did happen. No shame in that married couple life.

If that list seemed like a crazy up and down emotional roller coaster of love and hate, that’s because relationships are never static. Enjoy your married couple status and continue loving the crap out of one another.

Do you see your couple friends do this?

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