Why Denim Jeans Are the Absolute Devil To Wear

Why Denim Jeans Are The Absolute Devil

Why Denim Jeans Are the Absolute Devil

Denim jeans. They comes in all shapes and sizes. Bell bottoms, skinny, straight, baggy, low rise, high rise, mid rise, and it even goes into boyfriend and mom styles. They have been around since 1873.  Jeans were originally for miners and cowboys. Now, they’re everywhere. Every child and aunt has a pair somewhere in their closet. They just look nice with anything and everything. However, in terms of comfort, they are the devil.

1. They Feel like Sandpaper

This is no exaggeration. Unless you cheat and get jeggings, jeans are stiff and rough. The fabric is woven with thick, sturdy fibers. Also, when combines with the cold, it’s as if the fibers freeze and become mini icicles scraping against your skin. Wearing denim is equivalent to being deeply exfoliated 24/7.

2. High Waisted = No Butt

Why Denim Jeans Are the Absolute Devil flat butt

High waisted jeans, I think we all know, are not flattering on anyone. In fact, they rob us of our butt curve. Yes, it’s fashionable right now and it’s cute from the front, but the back and side is a whole other story. Maybe they help hide your stomach fat, but do you really want to sacrifice your butt for that? Wearing high waisted jeans is asking to be classified as a wall.

3. They Ride Up EVERYWHERE

TMI? Naw. TMT (too much truth). Especially if you’re a girl, you know what I’m talking about first hand. Most jean styles are tight on women. It’s supposed to make you look skinny, and accentuate your figure. But because it’s so tight, any movements you make with this stiff fabric, there’s no where for it to go except in you. Jeans aren’t spandex, they aren’t cotton, there is no give. That means front and back wedgies for everyone! And yes, it is 200% possible to have denim camel toes.

4. Fading Is Inevitable

Why Denim Jeans Are the Absolute Devil faded

It doesn’t matter if the jeans are $25 or $500, they WILL fade. And not even over a prolonged time, but within a few washes. It also makes no difference to hand wash or machine wash. They will fade, a lot. Ever wonder how people keep their jeans so pigmented? They don’t wash it. Some wash it once every month, some never wash it at all. All that money spent on a pair of jeans, just to have it fade.

5. Finding The Perfect Fit Is A B****

Boys, this may not be a problem for you. But for women, oh dear. Let’s just get this straight out. Every woman is different in shape. Not everyone has a waist or hips proportional to their legs. And because jeans have no give, how the hell did they standardize sizes?! If you get a size too loose, when you sit down, your ass crack is presented to the world. But if you get a size too small, muffin- top galore! Not to mention all brands have different “size standards” and sizing, so uh, if your perfect fit is from a $300 brand, life sucks.

6. EVERYTHING Turns Blue

Why Denim Jeans Are the Absolute Devil stain

Unfortunately, this is true for everyone. It’s like dye doesn’t want to stay in the fabric, ever. You don’t even have to excessively rub the jeans. With one swipe of your hand, it turns blue! Imagine if you’re a guy touching up a girl’s ass. Talk about “caught, ‘blue’ handed”. If you have any purses or sweaters that are light coloured, expect it to be stained blue when paired together with the jeans. Oh and if you have a car with leather seats that aren’t black… Bless your soul because denim shows no mercy.

How do you feel about denim jeans?

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